Too Peaceful

Is there such a thing as too much peace??? It seems almost too good to be true with five kids in the house. But now that the holidays are over, the ornaments are put away and our normal routine is well underway it has grown quiet around here. YES, it is possible to have quiet in a house full of kids. At this moment two of them are taking naps, two of them are doing their school work and one of them is in school. So far this week I've organized our laundry room, my jewelry box, Gabe's room, and our closet. If I don't get another foster placement soon I will run out of things to organize!! Although, I've noticed over the past years that there's always a calm before the storm. It's almost as if I "nest" right before I get a new placement. So maybe God is getting me ready. I hope so because I'm going nuts with all this quiet.

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Blessed Thorns

The previous owner of our house planted some rose bushes outside our front door. I'm not big into roses so I dug them up the first year we lived here. We've lived here almost eight years now and daggone it if those darn bushes came back this past summer!! I can't tell you how many times now I've caught my arm on their thorns as I walk in and out of my front door. Those thorns are not only painful but annoying. I am constantly fighting with them. We have another type of weed that seems to LOVE our yard...I don't know the technical name for them...but even my kids know that you can't pick them without good garden gloves. Because if you don't they will get under your skin and fester for days. And although relative to the rose's thorns their thorns are very small but ten times more annoying.

It never ceases to amaze me how God tries to get our attention. Sometimes He whispers and sometimes He screams but His question is always the same, "Am I enough for you?" I believe He gets our attention in the form of "thorns". My thorns have changed throughout the years. Twenty years ago I had a HUGE thorn in my side called infertility. This particular thorn was all-consuming and very painful. My eyes became focused on that pain instead of my Savior. But eventually I accepted that thorn and told my Savior that I didn't need a baby, He was all I need. Ironically, He gave me a baby anyway, in fact five babies!!

I've had many more thorns throughout the years and the question has always been the same, "Am I enough for you? Or do you need that house, money, job, security or health to make you happy?" Although my heart wanders and forgets, my Savior always gently leads me back to the same answer, "YES! Lord You are enough! Of course you are. I'm sorry I forgot."

I have another thorn now. Unlike a thorn from a rose bush, this thorn is small and annoying like those darn little weeds all over our yard. It has burrowed into my flesh, irritating the daylights out of me. Over the last several weeks/months I have found my mind wandering again, taking my eyes off the Savior and focused on the pain that the thorn gives way to. But I was reminded of this verse this passage from the Bible this week...

2 Corinthians 12:7-10 To keep me from becoming conceited because of these surpassingly great revelations, there was given me a thorn in my flesh, a messenger of Satan, to torment me. Three times I pleaded with the Lord to take it away from me. But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ's sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.

I am so ashamed. How could I have forgotten the question so quickly, so easily? How could I have gotten so focused on an insignificant weed in my soul? But this verse turns my eyes back to the Savior again. Yes, Lord you are sufficient for me!! And even if this thorn never leaves my flesh...you are enough. I'm sorry I forgot.

I feel thankful now for this thorn to remind me of His grace. I am thankful for His power to rest in me. And I delight in this blessed thorn. For in this state of weakness I am strong!!

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Resolution

I really like this time of year. A fresh slate. A new beginning. A new lease on life. Somehow it seems my closets get cleaned out and certain areas of my life get purged. It's such a hopeful time of year.

I'm HAPPY to leave 2007 behind. Whew! What a hard year. It seems half of the year I spent either in bed or on the bathroom floor. The other half I spent tending to very needy kids. I know there has to be a connection between the two. When I foster I know I am working on the front-lines of God's Kingdom and Satan would love nothing more than to keep me from doing it. He won't succeed but boy has he tried and stripped me of my strength.

I'm not big into resolutions but I really do like the hopeful feeling that comes when you look forward. It's almost as if God built this opportunity for purging into the rhythm of life. As I look forward to the upcoming year I'm not thinking about a new exercise regime (well, actually I am kinda), I don't smoke, I don't want to strive to laugh more (I heard someone claim this resolution on the news last night). I just want to lift my eyes to the hills. I want to gaze into my Savior's eyes. He is where my strength comes from. He is what I want to focus on today and tomorrow...not my own selfish desires. So, I decided that instead of choosing a pointless resolution this year I want to choose a verse to focus on.

My verse this year will be: 2 Corinthians 4:17-18 "For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal."

So, for 2008 my mantra will be to fix my eyes on what is unseen. I can't imagine one single scenario that I might encounter this year that this verse won't apply. I will tattoo this verse on my soul and remember it the next time I feel I'm losing strength or feeling defeated. And I know there will be plenty of opportunities in 2008.

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Update

Who has time to blog with seven kids in the house?? We have two new foster kids. We've had them three weeks now. Personally, I like having the house full of kids but it does keep me hopping. But most importantly, THANK YOU LORD that He has restored my health so that I can serve Him better. I have been using the tools He has given me, such as whole natural foods among other things and it's working. In fact, in many ways I feel better than before I got started getting sick two years ago. They say 90% of your immune system lies within your gut and I know my gut was a mess. I also know it's not completely healed yet but it's definitely healing and I'm on the mend. What a glorious feeling!!

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